Well… it’s time to say so long to good ol’ 2023. Isn’t that crazy? I have touched on it many times but this notion of time flying by continues to blow my mind in here. I was thinking about this earlier today while I was working out and I kept telling myself… “Yeah it is seemingly moving right along but not fast enough” but then I had this “epiphany” (if you will) that it isn’t the fact that it isn’t moving fast enough… it’s just that I want it to be the specific date in that computer that says I can be back with my boys… be back with my family and friends and THAT date just isn’t here fast enough (because tomorrow wouldn’t be “fast enough”). In reality… I don’t want time to move fast… I want it to slow down because I don’t want to miss any more of it… I don’t want to miss another lost tooth… I don’t want to miss another birthday… I don’t want to miss another school play… I don’t want to miss a soccer game or a karate practice…. I don’t want to miss another second of their lives. I want it to be “the” time that I no longer have to but I don’t want to rush my life or theirs away to get there.
It is such a complicated feeling that elicits such complicated emotions but I guess common when you’re physically away from everything and everyone that you love. And all it will take is some arbitrary date… some date in the future that lives in some computer system and changes when laws change… and when that magical date finally says “today is the day”… you can be with them again. So… of course I want to hurry up and get to that date but not at the expense of wasting any days in between. I realize that I just “free flowed” all of my thoughts into text but I hope that it resonates to some degree with life out there as well. There are so many times when we are wishing we could hurry up and get to that thing… whatever it may be at X given time… that we wish our days away. I think it is important to remember that there is magic between today and that day… and understanding that is the first step toward living in the present moment as opposed to always trying to live one step ahead.
As the new year approaches… I’m sure we all find ourselves participating in some degree of internal dialogue. Reflecting on life… reflecting on the aspects that we enjoyed over the past year… the ones that we hope to improve in the year to come. For me… this coming year is about deepening my connection with my boys… finding new ways (and reinforcing “old”) to show up for my family and friends in the real world… continuing the daily work on myself to take one step closer to being the Dad… the brother… the son… the Uncle… the friend… the man… that all of my loved ones deserve when I walk out these gates. I plan on mentally capturing and holding onto the glimmers of light in here and using this light to propel me through the hard times and remind me not wish the days away when I just want to be with them so bad it hurts.
As I reflect on this time last year… I can honestly say that I am a better person today than I was on December 31, 2022. I feel deeper… I think clearer… I express more genuinely… and my goal for 2024 is to continue that personal growth. I have hope for 2024 and I am beyond grateful for that.
So…with extreme gratitude… I wish every single one of you a fantastic New Year.
Stay Healthy. Stay Active. Happy travels into 2024.