Well I have just been informed by the recreation officer that “I’m trying to get out of here so 15 minutes and I’m shutting the computers down”… okay then… will need to make this quick.
This week has been a roller coaster of emotion. There have been extreme lows early in the week where I felt sadness, anxiety, anger, regret, embarrassment and loneliness like I have not felt in many months. Then there were fantastic moments toward the end of the week… getting to see loved ones that I have not seen since I have been inside that lifted my spirits and completely recalibrated my perspective. I went outside to walk the track tonight and started thinking about what I wanted to write about this week and I think the emotional ride that I took over the past 6-7 days is a microcosm of this whole life that I am living…
There are going to be hard times… times that I get mad at myself for feeling down and upset because I “need to be strong and keep a positive attitude” but that is BS. I am allowed to feel sad when I feel sad and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. There are also times that I am going to feel uplifted… grateful… happy and have “rainbows shooting out my ass” and these emotions may flip flop back and forth day after day…. and that is okay as well. I am learning that this roller coaster… especially in the environment that I currently reside… is life. And the sooner I can genuinely embrace it… all of it and all of its ups and downs… the sooner I can release the “handle bar”… throw my hands up in the air and scream as I crest over that first downhill slope.
I think this notion goes for life out there as well. We all are going to have good days and bad… positive interactions and ones that leave a bad taste in our mouths’… but it is how we digest these experiences… grow from them and through them that makes us the well rounded people that we all want to be.
I’m ready to tackle tomorrow with a positive attitude and look forward rather than backward… ready to embrace the next challenge that inevitably awaits me because no matter what it is… I got this… and so do you.
Stay Healthy. Stay Active. Enjoy December… I love this month.