The Penny

“What is that?” I think as I get closer to this brownish/gold round object on the floor of the dining room as I finish mopping Friday afternoon at work. As I get closer and look down… I realize that resting right by the salad bar is a heads up penny. A penny. An object that I have held… walked over… sat on… ignored and forgot about thousands of times over the years but as I am bending down to pick up this tiny object at this moment and holding it in my hands… I realize that I am experiencing a sensation as if I have just found gold. I have not seen or touched any sort of currency in a year and half… and prior to this moment… I haven’t thought about that fact one time but standing here… holding this penny and smiling… I realize that this exact moment symbolizes the notion that “you don’t appreciate what you have until it is gone”. Not in the literal sense in the case of this penny but it was so clear to me that this penny symbolizes all of the aspects of my life prior to coming in here that I took for granted… that I overlooked and didn’t appreciate and now that I am living every day without these things in my life… I am overwhelmed by the longing for them on the other side of this journey.

And the longing is for nothing that these “pennies” could ever buy… it is the “small” things in life that I was “too busy” for and didn’t properly appreciate. It was the quiet moments with my boys… my loved ones…. it was the ability to pick up the phone and call someone when you want to talk to them… it was driving… it was having a moment of alone time… it was being present for all the seemingly benign moments in my boys lives that are actually the ones that count and the ones that I will forever cherish. The evening walks to the park… the make believe games all throughout the house… the bath times… the making breakfast together… them peacefully falling asleep on my chest (well these moments I absolutely cherished then and damn do I miss them now)… these are the moments that I will never again dismiss as anything but incredible. These are also the moments that I am currently missing because of my past actions and decisions. And that piece of things… that “side of the coin”… is forever present in my mind as well. And that is a good thing because our actions and decisions have consequences and I am consciously living those life altering consequences every single day.

The simplicity of a penny mirrors the simplicity of the lesson that I took from finding one this past week… never lose our sense of wonder… never be too busy to notice the penny sitting heads up on the ground… never let all the moments just pass by without appreciating them… never tell them tomorrow what you could tell them today… try as hard as you can to live in the moment with the ones that are in that moment with you… and cherish every second of it.

I can’t remember the last time I had an experience such as this one… with finding that little penny and it opening up my mind and heart in such a profound way. I will do everything in my power to hold on to this sense of appreciation on the other side of this journey when a penny is once again… just a penny. But for me… it will now always be a bit more than that.

Stay Healthy. Stay Active. Pick the penny up and make a wish… you never know.

By the way – just for clarity… we are not allowed to have a penny or any other currency here at T.I. so I did not take that penny with me… it is safely resting in the OM for another guy to discover 🙂