Picture a mason jar. The thick glass… the screw on lid with the aluminum top that pops on just under the lid. Now imagine a small pile of sand… a handful of small rocks… and 3 larger rocks sitting next to the mason jar. If you opened the jar and poured the sand in first… then piled the small rocks on top of the sand… then attempted to place the larger rocks into the jar… chances are they wouldn’t all fit. You would get the sand in there… the small rocks would be cool… and maybe you could fit one or 2 large rocks and still close the lid but not everything. Now… what if you start with the large rocks? You place those in the bottom of the jar… then let the sand cascade around them… filling in all of the empty space left at the bottom of the jar and then add the small rocks on top of that… the jar will close. Can you picture it?
Think about the mason jar as being our daily lives and the sand…those small rocks and large rocks being all of our priorities in this life. We have the sand… the “things” that we fill our days with just because we have this incessant need to stay busy. Then we have the small rocks… our job… our social life… working out… aspects of life that certainly matter and are necessary to our well being but not the bedrocks (no pun intended) of our true fulfillment in life. Then comes the big rocks… our children… our family… our significant other… our friends… the relationships in our lives that (even if we forget it at times) are the absolute most crucial elements to our lives… at least if we want to find genuine moments of joy in this life.
Think about the way that we fill our ‘life jar’. If we start filling our days with the “busy stuff” and then we just have to ‘take that work call’ before we go to that ‘crucial work lunch’ before we hit the gym a couple hours before we go to that ‘work dinner’… the big rocks simply don’t fit in our day. But if we start by spending some quality time with our kids… shooting a quick email or text out to our sister to touch base… sit down and have coffee with our significant other (without our phones out) and then start our day… all the sand and rocks will fit in “our jar”. We can still make time for all the running around… all the working… all the working out… everything. But it is about prioritizing the meaningful relationships in our lives before we focus on the ‘sand’.
One of the “gifts” that this journey has given me is stripping me of all the sand and small rocks in my life and given me the ability to recognize… to prioritize and to act upon the aspects of my life that genuinely matter to me the most. My boys… my family… my real friends… my realistic and honest life goals… my daily internal work… my gratitude. These aspects of life are what bring me joy… they allow me to lay my head down at night peacefully and feel fulfilled at the end of each day. Due to where I currently am laying that head down at night… I no longer have access to any of the “things” that used to fill my thoughts and my day outside of the above. This was viewed in such a negative light at the start of this journey but with perspective… it really is such a gift. And my hope… with practice through these years… is that when I am back in the real world and all the “things” are readily available to me once again… I have trained myself to fill my jar with the large rocks first and then add the sand.
Just something to think about out there as you race through the crazy days of life. Try to slow it down a bit and take stock of what you are spending the most mental and emotional energy on through the day. I would bet that a lot of it would fall into the ‘sand’ and ‘small rock’ category and if that is the case… think about a little priority shift and see if it doesn’t provide some positivity to your life.
Stay Healthy. Stay Active. Focus on the ‘big rocks’… it’s where the smiles live 🙂