Thanksgiving. This is by far my favorite time of year. The weather gets crisp and cool… the holiday music… the holiday spirit in the air… whatever it is about the end of Fall into the beginning of winter… it just makes me happy. Now this joyful… holiday cheer is certainly a bit different living behind these walls but I do my best to find the positives and create my own ‘happy place’ even if I would do absolutely anything to be out there with the ones I love.
Every year on Thanksgiving… as my family sits around the table… all salivating over the massive spread in front of us that we are on the verge of digging into… we go around the table and say what we are thankful for this year. As I think about my answers prior to checking into T.I… I have to say that there was truth behind my “thanks” but there was also an element of “performance” with my answers. I remember always going over what I was going to say in my head as my other family members answered before I was on the hot seat… contemplating how I would deliver my sentiments… how I could say whatever it was that I was going to say in the “best” way possible… basically taking something that should be completely from the heart and artificially manufacturing it in order to get the sought after result. Seeing this so clearly now makes me want to punch myself in the face but I have to hold onto the fact that I see it clearly and I can now change this mentality and mindset as opposed to ignoring this reality and keeping down the same path.
So… in the spirit of starting fresh… this year… I am so very thankful for…
I am thankful for my boys… I am thankful for the ability to hear their voice on our phone calls… I am thankful for the joy that I hear when they receive something that I have sent them in the mail… I am thankful for their laughter when they are wrestling each other or playing a game together while they “bring me with them” on the call…. I am thankful for our 3-way ‘rock-paper-scissor’ games… I am thankful for the “I love you Daddy”s…. I am thankful for the “Daddy… Guess what?!”s…. I am thankful for their health…I am so incredibly thankful for them and their spirit that drives me forward through every day of this journey in order to physically be with them for Thanksgiving down the road. I am so thankful for my boys.
I am thankful for my family. I am thankful for the visits… I am thankful for the Twix Bars and the water bottles (with the occasional orange soda now and then 😉 )…. I am thankful for the magazine subscriptions…I am thankful for the fantasy football games… I am thankful for the phone calls… I am thankful for the pictures that keep me connected to the real world in such a massive way (you guys don’t know how incredibly impactful and helpful these pictures are for me – thank you)… I am thankful for the genuine love that I feel day in and day out… I am thankful for the steadfast support throughout this journey… I am thankful for your honesty… I thankful for your grace… I am thankful for your loyalty… I am thankful for the laughter that we share… I am thankful for the fact that our bonds seems to get stronger by the day even though we cannot physically be together. I am so thankful for my family.
I am thankful for my friends. I am thankful for your loyalty when it would have been easier to walk the other direction. I am thankful for your understanding… your grace… your empathy… you willingness to hear the apologies and stick with me while I work towards cleaning up the wreckage that I caused. I am thankful for the visits. I am thankful for the calls. I am also thankful for the uber competitive fantasy football games week in and week out. I am thankful for life updates that keep me present in your world when it feels like I am on another planet at times. I am thankful for your honesty when we both know that it is hard to hear (and say) but it is necessary. I am thankful for the laughs. I am thankful for the “remember when’s” and “I can’t wait for”s. I am so very grateful for my friends.
I am thankful for the ocean breeze.
I am thankful for the seals popping up and reminding me of my boys.
I am thankful for the sunrises and sunsets.
I am thankful for the ability to wake up every day and work toward becoming the man that I want to be.
I am extremely thankful… extremely grateful… and extremely humbled by it all this year.
I hope everyone had an incredible Thanksgiving with loved ones and that you all have so much to be grateful and thankful for in your own lives.
Stay Healthy. Stay Active. Happy Thanksgiving.