This is a story about a pleasantly surprising… beautifully eye opening and curiously unique phenomenon that I experienced this week and (as I have been thinking about it) have witness countless times since I have called T.I. home. It is a story of generosity and caring in an environment where neither of which would be expected. A story of selflessness in a self-first world… of giving when you don’t have much to give. It is a story that makes me nod my head while chuckling to myself and smile because it allows me to see a glimmer of the raw “good-ness” that is inside all of us… we just need to find it and practice using it a bit more. But… lets start from the beginning…. laundry.
Laundry in here revolves around a “laundry mat” of sorts that is situated right next to commissary on the North Yard… inside there are 6 extremely large washer and dryers… folding stations… extra clothing… sleeping mats aka mattresses but these are certainly not actual mattresses… sheets and everything else that is needed to clothe and bed the compound. On each night of the week (Mon – Fri)… the laundry workers push large blue carts to every unit (my unit is Tuesday night) so that all the guys can put their laundry bag in the cart and then that cart will be wheeled back to laundry bright and early the next morning so that everyone’s clothes can be “washed”… dried and returned to the unit that afternoon. (Side note – it still cracks me up that the system is set up for grown ass men to not have to do their own laundry when they are in prison… seems a bit counter intuitive to this mission of “growth” but I don’t make the rules.) So… we all turn our laundry in and usually when I get back from work on Wednesday afternoon… my laundry bag is either on a chair in my room (because a “homeboy” was nice enough to spot my grab and bring it to my room for me) or still sitting in the laundry cart that was brought back with all of the “clean” clothes in it (Clean has to be in quotes here because… prison). Well…I come back from work this past Wednesday… get into my room… change out of my “chef whites” and get ready to go work out when I notice that my laundry bag isn’t in the room but my Bunkie’s bag is on his chair. Hmmm… okay… lets check the cart. I head to the lobby to check the laundry cart and no “Horwitz” bag to be found… I go to the middle hallway and check that cart… maybe my bag got misplaced and sent to the wrong wing… Nope… no “Horwitz” bag in that cart either. Okay – this isn’t good… last attempt until I accept that my laundry bag has been lost/broke open while it was being washed and my clothes are now in the trash somewhere… let’s go down to laundry and ask. I get down to laundry and ask the Officer on duty in there if my bag dropped out of one of the carts by chance or was misplaced somehow between Tuesday night and tonight…unfortunately – no luck. The “Horwitz” bag is MIA and it looks like I will be needing to buy some new socks and undies next week at commissary.
But here is where the story gets good… I go back to the unit and tell my Bunkie and some other “homeboys” what happened and immediately these guys are trying to give me their clothes… their new socks and underwear that are still in the bag from when they bought them… new tee shirts… new work out shorts… anything that had been in my laundry bag and was now lost… they were trying to replace for me. Not give to me today and then I get them back next week… like actually just replace my lost items for me. I was absolutely blown away by this gesture of unbridled generosity… here we are… in prison… none of us have anything “extra” or the means to not care about a new set of socks or clothing and they are attempting to fully replace my whole wardrobe because…as one of them told me when I asked him about this last night while writing… “I am one of them and I would do the same thing if they were in my shoes”. Incredible. I could not accept their offer and I will begin next week piecing everything back together but I couldn’t get their actions out of my head. Why do we not have this sense of community… this sense of brotherhood/sisterhood in real life… outside these walls? Why is it that these guys are willing to “give the shirt off their back” without the ability to easily replace it without a second thought in here but out there… we would be hard-pressed to find someone outside a close friend or family member (maybe!) willing to put themselves out in order to help another?
I believe that it genuinely comes down to the answer that he gave me when I asked him about his seemingly reflexive generosity… “I am one of them and I would do the same thing if they were in my shoes”. There is a bond that forms between guys in here because we are the only ones that understand and has to live the altered reality that we call life on a daily basis… and we have to live it together. It is why if you ask any guy in here what the most important thing to them is while inside besides a connection to their family on the outside… they would respond with “respect”. Show respect and get respect in return… it is as simple as that. Two basic… yet extremely complex (due to our inability as a society to fully embrace them) words are at the core of these guys’ actions : respect and kindness. What the world would look like if we could all learn to respect each other and be kind to one another…
I am so grateful for the guys that offered to help me this past week and I will never forget how quickly… as if it was, as I stated above, a reflex… they jumped to lift me up when they heard that I had been knocked down. I hope that I carry this with me for the rest of my life… in here and on the other side of this journey in my real life. To reflexively help others when they are in need… to treat everyone how I would like to be treated because at the end of the day… we are all part of the tribe and if we learn how to start acting that way… even in the smallest of ways… I believe we could make this world a better place for everyone to enjoy.
Stay Healthy. Stay Active. Be Kind. Remember that lifting the ones around you will never make you smaller.
This was a great observation, Zach. Such an easily lesson ( remember ‘The Golden Rule’) to site and a hard one to bring into our everyday practices. You are fortunate to have a social network who both understand this basic lesson, but easily practice it!
We must remember that we can find great souls in not-so-great places! If only we would open ourselves up to look for them.
Carry on and keep finding the good in life!