Moments of joy. I am constantly seeking these ever elusive genuine moments of bliss behind the gates and when I witness one of the other guys having his “moment”… ironically… it transports me into one as well. I think the reality of life incarcerated is such a bleak and gray existence most of the time… that when we experience vibrant color in our lives or see it in the eyes of one of the guys around us… it elevates life. I love when I get to experience it.
This past week… I was sitting outside my unit on my “favorite bench”. It is perfectly positioned to catch the sunrise over the water and the shipping yard in the morning and the sunset over the San Pedro Hills at night. It also has an unobstructed view of the track to consume all the people watching that a guy could ask for. So… as I was sitting on my fantastically positioned bench… I saw one of the OG’s in here… “Doc”… turning the corner of the track just behind home plate of the softball field. Doc is in his early to mid 70s… smooth talking man with a perfectly groomed afro that he takes great pride in maintaining and telling you about. He is wearing his ‘about an inch too short’ silver “running shorts”… a tucked in pressed white tee shirt… socks pulled up to mid-calf and blinding white crispy high top air force one shoes that he brought from another institution. He has his large Walkman style 90’s head phones covering both ears and pulled up as high as possible… not to mess with his perfect hair… MP3 player in hand and eyes closed.
And… HE. IS. DANCING.
I’m talking about full throttle… he’s the only man on the yard… no f*cks given… look at me… absolutely gettin it… kind of dancing. He is twirling around… he is singing… he is throwing his hands in the air like he just don’t care… he is getting low… he is snapping and pointing and slidin and jivin and smiling. And man… it made me so damn happy that I was lucky enough to be sitting there at that exact moment to witness this man experience so much unbridled joy and “freedom”. He continued to dance his way around half the track… clearly feeling himself and whatever song he happened to be listening to at the time (I will have to ask him what it was because I think I need that in my life) until he got close to the entrance of his unit to which he burned off the track and finished his number as he walked through the unit door.
I just sat there… laughing to myself. This place never ceases to surprise me.
I believe that joy is something you have to continuously and consciously work at and “happiness” is what you make it. Take the time to enjoy every phase of this insane life that we are lucky enough to live. Sometimes we find ourselves with our heads down… staring at the ground in front of us… game planning that next step. If we can remind ourselves to look up and see the sun shining and the clouds in the sky… I think we will find that we are able to enjoy the walk. And step by step… we will eventually “arrive” where ever it is that we have been trying to get to this whole time.
Stay Healthy. Stay Active.
And just like the song that my Mom dedicated to my sister at her wedding and most certainly what Doc would prescribe…. ‘I hope you Dance’.