I don’t know if it would be considered confirmation bias or possibly some form of the ‘recent-cy effect’ but there have been numerous occasions in here where I have a conversation with someone and then at some point in the near future… I am reading an article or a book and ‘BAM’… there it is. It usually isn’t on the nose subject-wise but the underlying concept of the conversation ties directly to the message in whatever piece I happen to be reading. And… as I am sure you can guess… this happened in such a profound way this past week that I figure since I talked about it…and I read about it… I might as well write about it… Right?
I was having a conversation at work with my number 2 about our instinct… as a society… to push things into the future as opposed to making a plan and executing that plan in real time. We were discussing and questioning why our initial reaction to an idea or thought or behavior is usually immediately met with…”once I save enough money… then I can go” or “Once my schedule clears up a bit… then I will have enough time to take that trip.” When in reality… most of the time… we have enough money to do that thing right now and we certainly can figure out a way to make enough time to go on that trip as opposed to next year because… lets be honest… we will find a way to be just as busy next year as we are at the present moment. More specifically… we were discussing the notion that so many guys that live behind these walls continue to exhibit the same behaviors that landed them here in the first place. Whether that be substance abuse… stealing… lying to almost everyone around them both in here and out in the real world or finding ‘creative’ ways to make money that are only going to solve a small “right now” problem but cause a massive long term problem in the near future… these guys just keep digging and digging. And the crazy part is that if and when you ask them.. “Hey man. Why are you doing X when you know it is just going to take you further down a path that you supposedly don’t want to go?” They respond with… “Well… I’m only doing it in here cuz as soon as I’m back on the streets… I’m going completely straight.” I mean… do they really believe that? Now… as I have said in the past… I certainly cannot throw stones from my glass house but when you have made so many mistakes in the past and are trying (and see others trying) every single day to better themselves… it is unbelievably frustrating to witness and hear the ‘I will change at a later date’ line. Take responsibility for yourself and your actions and start workin!
Which brings me to my book and the realization that the above ‘phenomena’ is certainly nothing new. I was reading a book this past week and a section was discussing the tradition of what they called the “Desert Fathers”. These ‘Fathers’ were Christian monks that lived in Egypt about 1,700 years ago. It went on to tell a story about two specific monks named Theo and Lucius. Theo and Lucius were curious monks… they spoke to each other often about wanting to see the world… to explore what was out there beyond the confines of their environment. But there was a glaring issue… they both had vowed contemplation so it would be going against their vows to travel. So in order to “mock their temptations” they would continuously relegate their travels to some future date. Winter would come around and Theo would tell Lucius… “we will stay here until the weather gets warmer in summer… then it will be time to travel.” And when summer rolled around… Lucius would go to Theo and say… “You know what… getting out of the cold of winter and traveling to a warm summer destination would be better… so lets wait until Summer to make our move.” They continued this for 50 years… and then they died… never traveling at all.
I think the underlying lesson here is that there is something deeply ingrained in our beings to push desires down the road toward an arbitrary “better” time when in reality… none of us know what the future holds or if we will even be in it when that future date rolls around. Whether that desire manifests itself in bettering ourselves… traveling… applying for that new job… starting to work out… putting down the bottle… picking up a book… whatever it may be. If we force ourselves to go against the ‘later date’ instinct and remember that there is no better time than right now to start that thing or go to that place… maybe we can inch ourselves closer to those moments of joy that I can’t stop talking about.
The time is now and if Lucius and Theo were still around today… I would have to imagine that they would look you in the eye and tell you… “screw waiting until next Summer… lets pack our sandals… throw on our robes and bounce.”
Stay Healthy. Stay Active. Carpe Diem!