Eat The Pancakes.
So, my oldest son loves pancakes. Every single morning that I was with him from the time he could talk until the last morning that we were together prior to me surrendering… our morning conversation would go something like, “What do you want for breakfast today Buddy?” (already knowing full well what the answer would be) and he would happily respond in his little voice “pancakes and bacon Daddy”. Occasionally, he would switch it up and say, “Pancakes and Sausage please”… quickly followed by “Okay. Byeeee” as he goes off to play now that I have my instructions on what to make him. The kid loves pancakes. I used to eat them all the time as well when I was a kid. My best friend growing up and I would make pancakes every Saturday morning… one of us would throw them across the room with a specula, hot off the griddle, to the other one that was by the table. But when I made my son pancakes… I would try one and that’s it. I wouldn’t sit down and enjoy them with him. I had told myself that pancakes weren’t good for me… too much this or too much that (hello body dysmorphia). But what I was really doing was not only depriving myself of something that I love, but I was also depriving my son of an experience and memory with his Dad.
They serve pancakes here once or twice a week for breakfast. A big stack of them covered in syrup and someone usually has a jar of peanut butter to add as well (if you feel so inclined). The first week that I was out of quarantine, I saw the pancakes as I was waiting in line and my brain immediately sent the “Do Not Eat This” alert but…Am I really going to starve myself until lunch?? “You know what… F**k it… I’m eating the pancakes”. And let me tell you… they were absolutely glorious.
It made me so happy eating those pancakes and thinking about my son doing the same thing somewhere out there but simultaneously, it made me incredibly sad that I robbed myself and my little guy of experiencing these fluffy treats together for the past 2-3 years. And in this moment, I made a decision… never again.
I am going to eat the pancakes and more importantly… I am going to get out of my own way and LIVE when living is presented to me.
Eat the Pancakes. You won’t regret it.
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I hope you’re enjoy your pancakes out there.
Love you and miss you so much buddy 🙂