I always loved playing some sort of question game during dinner parties that would spark interesting and dynamic conversations… take people outside of their comfort zones and mostly avoid the dreaded, mundane, surface level talk that tends to happen at most meal gatherings. I started thinking about the fact that my nightly track walks in here usually consist of topics that would be perfect for a “dinner party discussion” and since my life lacks dinner parties at the moment… I figured I would share a couple of this weeks discussion points on here in hopes that maybe it will spark some interesting discussion for those of you that actually can enjoy dinner with friends and family (outside of a chow hall 😉 ).
Wednesday night I was walking with a “homeboy” and we were discussing the fact that many of us go about life thinking one of two things… One – that our problems and challenges are so much greater or more serious than the ones of the people around us OR Two – we point the finger at that “one couple” and say… “Well at least we aren’t as bad as them…”. But reality is… although our hardships may look different than someone else’s… they tend to not actually be “better” or “worse”. If you could jump into someone else’s life for a period of time and experience their problems… even just for an hour… my guess is that you would quickly take back your bag of issues. Each of us will experience the grief of loss… the thrill of love… the devastation of not belonging and the healing power of friendship… just in our own unique way. Others are not going to experience these emotional times in the same manner as you have or will but their experiences are no less real or powerful than yours. Try not to compare yourself or your problems to those of others… because at the end of the day… we all have our own heavy burdens to carry and that is enough without the stress of worrying about the “Jones’s”…
Which leads us to last night… the notion of asking for help came up. All of us need help sometimes… in one way or another. Trying to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders will simply keep you anchored in a place of futility, helplessness and possibly regret. It has been crucial for me and I think extremely important for others to learn to ask for help without feeling ashamed for needing it. Lets be honest… there is no prize at the end of this life for being the most independent. Having the ability to ask for help is a sign of strength… it demonstrates a willingness to take better care of ourselves and in turn… be able to be present, available and “well-tuned” for our loved ones. As we all hear (well you guys hear these days…) on airplanes… “In the case of an emergency…Please secure your own mask before assisting the ones around you.” Try to remember that it is important to advocate for yourself the same way that you would advocate for the people you care about.
Prison walks that feel like therapy… did not see that in the handbook.
Stay Healthy. Stay Active.