Oh advice… we give it… we get it… we want it but don’t like it unless it parallels what we already thought to begin with… we don’t want it but get it anyway. Advice is a very prickly pear… and advice inside prison walls is a whole other experience all together. I was told (and read prior to surrendering) that giving unsolicited advice in here was a big “No. No.” But it happens… often. It takes the advice that we get in normal life about subjects such as relationships, possible job opportunities or what to wear out tonight and makes this type of knowledge sharing look like child’s play. In here, the advice is full throttle legal analysis on your case, life advice, top to bottom analysis of your lawyers performance and what lawyer to hire next because cases never actually end in here (according to the “advisor”), marriage advise, parenting advice, job opportunities inside and outside… the spectrum and knowledge dropped on you in here is no joke… straight life changing sh*t. And you get all of this advise about 7 minutes after meeting said advisor for the first time ever… pretty remarkable.
But in all seriousness, here’s the thing about advice, in here and out there… no one can actually predict the future. I know we all think we can but take my advice… we can’t ;). Advice at it’s best is one person’s perspective of the infinite possibilities presented to you in your life. When others offer advice their words are based on their own fears, experiences, prejudices, current position in life, relationship status and on and on. At the end of the day, their advice is just that… it’s theirs, not yours. When others give us advice, they are basing it off of what they would do, what they perceive to be right or wrong, or their perspective on what they think we can do or handle. But bottom line is, while yes, it is true that we are all subject to a series of “universal laws” or patterns in our lives that make behavior somewhat predictable… you are the first time you have ever happened. What you are doing in any given moment is a completely unique occurrence and there is no one else on this planet more attuned, capable, and reliable when measuring all the possibilities of what you can do than you are. I am not saying to never take advice but don’t let other people’s advice stifle that instinctual/guttural voice or feeling inside of you that is pointing you in one direction or another.
My sister gave me a framed picture about 10 years ago that said, “When Odds Are One in a Million. Be That One.”… this was the impetus for naming my company what it was named. I absolutely love this phrase and believe it can be a driving force for positivity and productivity… just stay within the confines of the law! If you are going to be surrendering to prison, know that people are going to attempt to put out your flame because their flame was put out, by them or someone else, at some point. This is one of the dangers with advice… do not let someone else ‘advise’ you down a path of complacency, acceptance of negativity or away from the people and things that you cherish and love in real life because it will make this temporary life easier.
From one of my favorite movies, “The Pursuit of Happiness”, after Will Smith’s character’s son tells him that he is going to be a professional basketball player… he says, “Don’t ever let someone tell you can’t do something… not even me. You got a dream… you gotta protect it. People can’t do something themselves, they want to tell you you can’t do it. If you want something… go get it. Period.”
Amen.
And that wraps up me giving you a bunch of advise about being skeptical when taking advice… fitting 🙂
Hope everyone had a wonderful Easter!