One of the hardest parts of this whole journey is discovering and then ultimately accepting the fact that once you are behind these walls… you have very little (if any) control of anything in your life that is outside the gates. It is a tough pill to swallow and one that many guys in here battle with on a daily basis but the sooner that you accept this reality… the sooner you will stop swimming upstream and begin to work within the realities of your new life.
There was an “event” this past week that I hold extremely dear to my heart and because of this fact… I forgot the above cardinal rule that I have learned over the past couple years. I allowed myself to have expectations for what would happen at a certain time on a certain day… all of which would take place outside these gates and in turn… completely out of my control. Huge mistake. The day and time came and I proceeded to do what I would have done if I did not put myself at T.I… if I was still a free man… with access to all the seemingly “small” things that free men have access to in order to communicate with our loved ones. But I did put myself here and I am not a free man… so my expectations and hopes fell completely flat. In the moment… it was extremely heartbreaking… frustrating… upsetting… sad… and disappointing but guess what… I have to own my reality and in this new reality… I need to accept the fact that I no longer have the luxury of having expectations of what should happen in the real world. I can only control my own thoughts and actions while I am here on my literal and figurative “island” and be genuine in those endeavors in all avenues of my life. Easier said than done at times but crucially important.
Now here is the good news… when something like this happens (whether you are in here or out there)… feel all the feels of the situation but understand that tomorrow… a new sun will rise. And with this new sun brings a new perspective… a new outlook on the situation and most of the time (as with my experience last week)… a much brighter and more positive outlook on the event. Most things in life are not quite as bad as we feel that they are in the exact moment that they take place. We allow our emotions to wash over us and cloud of vision because when we care deeply about something or someone and things do not go as planned in relation to “our plan”… it is frustrating. And what do we do when we are frustrated? We lash out… we act impulsively… we say things that we don’t mean and do things that we have to apologize for at some point in the future. We are hurt… and hurt people… hurt people.
So… if there is a take away from these negative (inevitable) events in life… it is to take a breath… shut it down for a bit and let time clear our vision and sharpen our perspective on the situation. Then act. This will not change the reality of our lack of control behind these walls but it will change the way that we handle this reality. From my experience… harnessing this power to manage our emotions… decisions and actions is one super power that no one can take away from us. And that is a win…
Stay Healthy. Stay Active. Ohh and not being able to text really helps in these situations as well 😉