1,096 DAYS

Well… I have good news and not so good news this week. Lets kick things off with the good news… I walked into the computer area on Thursday morning and to my absolute shock… sitting in front of half of the computers (all of them would just be too good to be true) were these cute little stools that we can now sit on while typing. No more kneeling…. WHAT?!?! As I sit here… let me say that again for effect… sit here… right now on my little stool…my left knee (my kneeling knee) certainly thanks whomever the wonderful person was over here that decided to bless us with these lovely beige typing assistants. Thank you T.I. Bad news… staffing shortages has our access to said stools and the computers that sit in front of them extremely limited this weekend so let’s get into it before I get kicked off.

We passed our 3 year mark of me living behind these gates this past Thursday or as my sister informed me (Love you… you incredibly special human being) 1,096 days due to the leap year last year. In many ways… it seems as though the time has flown by in an instant. I can vividly remember the day that I arrived… the last time that I hugged my boys… driving over that bridge… arriving a day early (crazy!) and figuring out that whole debacle in the parking lot with my Mom… hugging that absolutely amazing Madre… walking through those gates… like it was yesterday. But then I think about the fact that I haven’t hugged those boys in over 3 years and I haven’t walked back out those gates that I walked through in over 1,096 days and it feels like a life time. I guess that is the power of time… it keeps ticking no matter how bad we want to slow it down or speed it up so we are left to personally decide how we want to mentally frame it’s immense power. And for me… it vacillates across the spectrum frequently.

As I thought about the milestone and attempted to stay as present as possible in the moment of it all… I was completely overcome with one “simple” feeling… immense gratitude. I am beyond words grateful for my ‘tribe’… their steadfast support has been the fuel that has driven me through this journey thus far… the lighthouse that has guided me day in and day out… without you guys… I would be lost at sea. I’m grateful for the answered calls and the bond that I have with my heartbeat that is my two boys out there. I am grateful for the sunshine and the ocean. I am grateful for the people who run this blog as writing has been such a cathartic outlet for me throughout this journey. I am grateful for the advocates. I am grateful for my ‘homeboys’ in here and the comradery. I am grateful for my health and the health of my loved ones in the real world. I am just so grateful for life… for the life that I am living today but equally so that I get another shot at it on the other side of the journey. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you… sincerely.

As we kicked off year 4 on Friday… I was struck by an act of kindness that made me feel that this year is going to be a good one. It has been raining over here this week so the weight pile was closed Friday afternoon, meaning… no outside workout for me. I decided to channel my Brother-In-law and bang out a prison version of our beloved “Shred” workouts so I set myself up in the back of the hallway in the unit and started burpee-ing… push up-ing… squatting and sweating away the afternoon. About 10 minutes into the workout… I see my homeboy… lovingly named “Fat JT” because well… he is a big ol’ Montana boy that loves him some food… especially sweets. He has told me on many occasions that the only true joy he gets out of life behind bars in eating any freshly baked treat that comes out of the bakery so when he gets ‘his paws’ on one… he’s “going in”. Given my workout position at the very back of the hallway… I have a perfect view of the activity throughout my half of the unit… where Fat JT happens to live. I see him round the corner with what appears to be a small child wrapped in a blanket in his arms. As he gets closer… I realize that No… this is not a small child but a freshly baked loaf of raspberry pound cake accompanied with another loaf of fresh lemon pound cake. I start smiling to myself… knowing that I will not be seeing Fat JT for a bit as he heads into his room… closes that door and transports himself to sugar heaven for the next 20 minutes. His room is about 3 doors down from where I stand… and as he gets closer… “I see you Fat JT. Get it homeboy” I say to him. He gives me a huge smile and walks into his room. I continue my workout and to my surprise about 5 minutes later… I see him walk out of his room with multiple bowls in his hand. I then see him walk room to room… not skipping one person… every race… every “group” and offering each person a slice of his beloved pound cake. I was stopped in my tracks. This is a guy that lives for these types of treats and here he is… giving it all away to the entire unit. I know it may seem like a small thing to the real world out there but you guys have to understand that these types of cakes do not come easy. This is maybe a 1 or 2 times a year type of thing and my man wants the community to enjoy it with him. Kindness. Kindness when no one is looking. It was absolutely beautiful and really made my day. The things you see in this place… unexpected gifts that I will take with me far beyond these gates.

Here’s to Kindness.
To Gratitude.
To Our Tribes.
To the Sunrises and Sunsets.
To Hope.
To Grace.
To Cherishing Time.
To Being Present.
To Learning.
To Loving.
To Growing.
Here’s to Year 4.

Thank You All. From the depth of my soul… Thank You.

Stay Healthy. Stay Active. Stay Kind.