DHARMA IN HELL : THE PRISON WRITINGS OF FLEET MAUL
AUTHOR: FLEET MAULL
NON-FICTION
RATING:
7.5 out of 10
Thoroughly enjoyed this book. I watched an interview with Fleet Maull prior to surrendering and find his outlook on life, experience and overall perspective on society and how to be a productive part of it relatable and admirable. Recommend.
THEMES
MINDFULNESS | BUDDHISM | WORLD PERSPECTIVE | SERVICE | FULFILLMENT | DEATH | PRISON SYSTEM | PERSEVERANCE
KNOWLEDGE FROM THE PAGE
I am currently half way through another book that deals with the legend of Sisyphus so I found it very fitting when Fleet’s book opened with…
“The Greek legend of Sisyphus has always intrigued me. For various reasons the Gods sentences Sisyphus to an eternity of rolling a huge boulder up a mountain with his bare shoulders, reaching the top, and watching the boulder roll all the way down again. And again. And again.” – Those who live or work in prisons (or have loved ones inside) can relate to Sisyphus’s plight. For all the effort put into change and humanization of the system and the people inside of it… the current state of our prison system as well as the recidivism rate shows that we just roll back down to the bottom of the mountain and in some instances… actually get worse. This has to change.
The interesting (and personally intriguing) piece of this puzzle is that for some reason, the very horror of such a bleak and sometimes maddening prison system and environment seems to inspire and fuel a level of personal growth, possibly even a total transformation, that is unparalleled in any other context.
“People in hell have no energy to waste on pleasantries or beating around the bush. They desperately need to know whether anything truly good, genuinely comforting, actually exists. They need to rip off all the wrapping and see whether there is indeed a gift inside the box.” – I spent so much time and energy people pleasing prior to this journey so this aspect of “hell” (as Fleet puts it) is life changing for me.
“Loud as all this was, it was mere background noise for the barrage of inner noise – racing thoughts and fears – that plagued me day and night. But especially at night, with the lights out and nothing to read, nothing to do, but lay there. My attention vacillated between the inner and outer chaos, and contemplating a life in prison.” – The mental game is the most difficult part (outside of being away from loved ones). Learning the skills to manage your thoughts and stay present… quiets the inner chaos (somewhat). This inner “chaos” is not specific to people incarcerated… the stressors of life and society outside of these walls cause the same effect and require the same attention.
“I still wasn’t able to see the harm I had been causing until that first cell door slammed shut and my life unraveled completely.” – I will never forget that feeling… rock bottom.
“We are buried under a mountain of guilt, shame and demonization heaped upon us by prosecutors, judges, jailors, the media, correctional staff and society. This makes it very difficult to feel the genuine remorse and regret necessary for change and healing.”
Throughout reading this book, I kept coming back to a strong desire and draw toward finding a way to serve, to give back in some meaningful way while I am here (and after). I have let a lot of people down in my life. Somehow the one’s closest to me, the real ones, have stuck by me. I have been the beneficiary of so much kindness and grace from so many people. It amazing me and it inspires me to want to do something of value with my life, to be of service in some way for them, for others… and for me.